Imagine you’re an elderly rehab patient, maybe trying to recover mobility after a stroke, and receiving treatment in a long-term care facility. Your therapist is a ferocious taskmaster, constantly...
Don’t buy green bananas
By
Gary Tetz
Jun 27, 2024
I just bought a house. Yes, at this age. A common admonition to those on intimate terms with aging and mortality is to avoid buying green bananas. Well, I chose to laugh in the face of that bit of...
Getting your steps in
By
Gary Tetz
May 30, 2024
I and most other humans I know are obsessed with steps, and not just of the 12 variety. We wear tracking devices 24/7, like an entire society under house arrest, and monitor step counts with religious...
The smiling robot
By
Gary Tetz
May 16, 2024
When I was still a prepubescent boy with many questions, never once did my father take me aside and explain how smiles are made. As a result, I’ve always been a terrible smiler, simply because I never...
In a death-phobic nation, long-term care embraces the ultimate privilege
By
Gary Tetz
Apr 21, 2022
Some in long-term care wake up thinking of pay cuts, business survival or reform. Me? I awoke this morning thinking about cremation.
Swearing good, drinking bad
By
Gary Tetz
Feb 23, 2023
Last time out here, I gave long-term care professionals official permission to swear, making the case, with strong scientific support, that an occasional obscenity is actually healthy. I assume for most...
Plugging in to the source
By
Gary Tetz
Dec 14, 2023
Somewhere down the road, when I walk through the front doors of your long-term care facility on my first day as a resident, I hope to move with even half the vigor 80-year-old Barry Manilow showed as he...
Let there not be light
By
Gary Tetz
Nov 17, 2022
It’s the first command in the Biblical creation story — let there be light. But if you’re working a night shift in a long-term care facility, I need you to stop reading this right now and go turn...
Don’t spring a wellness leak
By
Gary Tetz
May 18, 2023
In a valiant attempt to achieve maximum personal and professional potential, and in support of her difficult job recruiting long-term care staff, a colleague of mine chooses one word every year on which...
Waiting for the wallop
By
Gary Tetz
Mar 10, 2022
Good news, bad news — it’s a cycle on perpetual repeat in the long-term care profession, and on this planet.