Of all the forces in the universe, I fear irony the most. It’s lethal, and is eventually going to find and destroy me.
Spring up, down or sideways
By
Gary Tetz
Mar 10, 2016
Benjamin Franklin didn’t work in long-term care. Look it up. It’s a historical fact. If he had, his hair-brained daylight saving scheme never would have seen the light of day.
They’re here
By
Gary Tetz
Jan 28, 2016
We baby boomers think we’ll live forever. Data now suggests we might just be right.
More regulation desperately needed
Jun 18, 2015
After a particularly painful experience at a local restaurant, an irate friend of mine feels strongly that heat descriptions for spicy meals should be nationally monitored and controlled. But since I spend...
Better than bees in your eye
By
Gary Tetz
Aug 08, 2019
Those adorable flying insects buzzing around and bringing cheer to your long-term care facility right now? A new study reveals that they’re probably infested with and spreading terrifying superbugs.
Garden variety denial
By
Gary Tetz
May 17, 2018
Maybe the real reason some people don’t like gardening has little to do with the time and effort required, the proximity to deadly spiders or the pesky dirt under the nails. Maybe it’s the...
Am I man or mouse? Depends on your viewpoint
By
Gary Tetz
Mar 09, 2017
It’s shocking to realize the enduring power of the printed word. First I write a column about a giant, possibly rabid squirrel attacking innocent people in a Florida long-term care facility activity...
Grateful chickens
By
Gary Tetz
Dec 03, 2015
Chickens absolutely love Thanksgiving. At least on that one special day, they can finally breathe a little easier while chefs from humble homes to long-term care kitchens choose a larger bird for celebratory...
Naked crowd-funding — the salvation of long-term care
By
Gary Tetz
Apr 10, 2015
Crowdfunding isn’t the only way to raise money for a good cause, though it has recently netted one provider 60 televisions. Nudity is also an ever-attractive option.
The smiling robot
By
Gary Tetz
May 16, 2024
When I was still a prepubescent boy with many questions, never once did my father take me aside and explain how smiles are made. As a result, I’ve always been a terrible smiler, simply because I never...