When nursing homes find themselves with a deceased resident whom family and friends do not lay claim to, there can still be a heartwarming outcome.
That’s what a Maine provider, consulting funeral home and hundreds of strangers learned recently when they came together to honor a military veteran who died and had no one else come forward to take care of arrangements.
Riposta Funeral Home in Belfast, ME, received Gerry Brooks’s body on May 18 after he passed away at nearby Glenridge Nursing Home. After fruitless attempts to contact his family during Maine’s 15-day abandonment period, Riposta’s manager Katie Riposta knew they would need to make a different plan for his body.
While abandonment is rare, it still happens a few times a year, Riposta said, typically involving a care facility that cannot hold a body indefinitely.
“In those instances, it’s hard because their hands are tied. No one’s contacting them back, and they don’t have any arrangements,” Riposta explained.
Brooks’ paperwork indicated he was a veteran, and the Maine Veterans’ Memorial Cemetery was able to find his military discharge information to verify his eligibility for burial there.
The funeral home then put a notice in a local newspaper for volunteers to carry the casket. In a week, Facebook reposts from the Belfast VFW and others gained great traction.
“Somehow it just kind of kept snowballing,” Riposta said. “The phone calls were overwhelming, really showing support for Gerry. It was really awesome.”
Hundreds of strangers attended the service to give him a proper military funeral, including a flyover, a 21-gun salute and a bagpiper. Attendees held American flags, sang The Marines’ Hymn and gave him a final salute with full military honors. Three or four people who knew him from Bread of Life in Augusta, a soup kitchen Brooks frequented, attended as well.
The choice to bury him was ultimately made by the funeral home, as Riposta could find no family or relations willing to take on that decision.
“It wasn’t my choice to cremate him, that would’ve just been irreversible and final,” Riposta said. “At least if someone ever did come forward, his body is there.”
There are many options for a body after death, and Riposta said situations like Brooks’s bring to light the importance of having conversations and making plans beforehand.
Care facilities like the nursing home where Brooks died can play a role in those conversations. Riposta suggested requiring residents to have a plan for themselves and to list a funeral home they’d like to handle their body after death. To help make these decisions, Riposta proposed providers or others enable information sessions or seminars in which people can ask a funeral professional questions.
“It’s hard to have that conversation when you’re facing your own mortality and you’re going into a long-term care facility,” said Riposta. “But just having those conversations ahead of time so they know, ‘I’m making an informed, educated decision, I’m not overspending and my loved ones aren’t left with the question of what I wanted.’”
While not always the case, Brooks’ burial was likely what he’d have wanted. He entrusted Bread of Life in Augusta with his wife’s remains until they could eventually be with him. They brought them to the service, and per his request, Riposta buried his wife with him a week later.
