Unfortunately, caring for the elderly can make a person selfish. Yes, you read that right.
Whether a professional caregiver or a civilian with a needy loved one to take care of, you share distinct qualities. Namely, you care. But if you’re not careful, you also might think you’re in a unique situation. You may think the stress you regularly feel is a unique burden.
It’s not, and it pays to remember that (although most don’t).
Take it from Icelandic-American author Gudjon Bergmann.
“There is no such thing as a stress-free life,” he observed. “No evidence has ever been presented which suggests that a stress-free life can ever be achieved. Stress can be managed, relieved and lessened, but never eliminated.”
Long-term care employees would agree, a thousand times over. That’s even without deadly pandemic conditions, threats within a fresh 21-point nursing home reform package or staff shortages that cast a pall over everything.
When it comes to caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, the strain multiplies. You and millions of others experience it each day.
That’s why you also should remember the advice of the good Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski: “Times of stress are also times that are signals for growth, and if we use adversity properly, we can grow through adversity.”
Thousands of long-term care giants among us are proof.
So let today start a period of fantastic personal growth. To help make that happen, the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America offers seven tips for managing caregiver stress. It’s a fitting way to start National Stress Awareness Month.
(I know: Who knew there’s only one month when stress takes center stage?)
So how can you help yourself, and thereby also your patients and loved ones? With a tip of the cap to AFA, let me share a few ideas.
- Keep a flexible attitude. Be adaptable and positive, so aim for building solutions to ever-evolving situations. Tension transfers to those around you, so take some air out of the balloon whenever you can.
- Remember you can’t control everything. React accordingly, and you might even find some unexpected solutions.
- Prioritize your own health. You know all the bromides about good habits, sleep, physical exercise, eating right, etc. They’re true.
- Clear your mind regularly. Whether it’s through listening to favorite tunes, yoga, walking or meditation … do whatever blows away the fog. And then do it again a little later..
- Eat the elephant one bite at a time (to paraphrase the old parable, not the AFA). Don’t try to solve everything at once. It’s unrealistic. Set practical goals and priorities, and then move methodically.
- Remain connected with family and friends. Luckily, with social media and digital communications it’s easier to do than ever.
- Start gabbing. Whether with a fellow professional or a stranger, it can help to talk about the stress you’re feeling. The AFA, among others, has licensed professionals tending to telephone help lines. They’re there to listen, so use them.
Of course, I have an eighth tip. It’s an approach I put in almost anything I do.
- Keep a good sense of humor. This, of course, can be layered into each of the points above. Humor — don’t leave home without it.
And if nothing else, remember the advice of Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright and filmmaker David Mamet.
“We must have a pie,” he says. “Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.”
So go ahead. Shed the worries and make the world your own big, amusing bakery.
James M. Berklan is McKnight’s Long-Term Care News Executive Editor.
Opinions expressed in McKnight’s columns are not necessarily those of McKnight’s.
