You know how people ask you what your sign is? Well, I am not a big believer in all the astrology stuff. I’ll admit I don’t know the difference between a Sagittarius and a Capricorn, but I do know that there is no such thing as “Mercury in retrograde” or “sun in Sagittarius.”

Earth is not the center of the solar system, and the celestial bodies are not revolving around us, so the sun’s position in the sky is because of Earth’s motion. Therefore, the sun isn’t moving around Sagittarius.

And saying Mercury in retrograde, which astrologers commonly associate with bad luck, makes no scientific sense. A planet in retrograde motion means it is moving backward, and planets don’t do that.   

I should have given the “nerd alert” first up top here. My apologies. 

But lately, when someone asks me what my sign is, I just want to answer, “Do not disturb!” I mean, sometimes, don’t you just want to dive into something and get it done? Even Solomon said, “There is a time for everything… A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to…” 

Do you think he meant to add “a time to get a report done” or “your QAPI completed…”

And while yes, there is a time to be out rounding, doing huddles, putting out fires, educating, auditing, customer-servicing (OK, I made that one up, but it should be a word), you do need time to get your administrative stuff done. 

But I kid you not, where I once worked, there were several employees whose radar would go off the moment I got behind my desk, and they would just stand there and stare at me for a bit and then say something like, “Want me to come back?” And even if I said, “Yes, please, I just need 30 minutes. Corporate needs this report,” they wouldn’t leave. 

They would just hover until I took care of their issue (which was NEVER emergent). 

That’s when you want to pull lines from comedian Bill Engvall, which always ends with “here’s your sign.” That relates to people making obvious or oblivious comments. For example, A trucker gets his truck stuck under an overpass, and the responding policeman asks, “Hey, you get your truck stuck?” The trucker answers, “No sir, I was delivering that overpass, and I ran out of gas. Here’s your sign!”

OK, we can’t hand out “Captain Obvious” signs but can we still get a sign? Can it read, “Unless you’re bleeding out, having a heart attack, or the state is here, come back in 30 minutes.”

And, oh my gosh, I just want to finish this blog, and if one more person hovers over my desk, well, here’s your sign!

Just keeping it real,

Nurse Jackie

The Real Nurse Jackie is written by Jacqueline Vance, RNC, CDONA/LTC, Senior Director of Clinical Innovation and Education for Mission Health Communities, LLC, and an APEX Award of Excellence winner for Blog Writing. Vance is a real-life long-term care nurse. A nationally respected nurse educator and past national LTC Nurse Administrator of the Year, a 2024 McKnight’s VIP Woman of Distinction award winner, and an accomplished stand-up comedienne. The opinions supplied here are her own and do not necessarily reflect those of her employer or her professional affiliates.

The opinions expressed in McKnight’s Long-Term Care News guest submissions are the author’s and are not necessarily those of McKnight’s Long-Term Care News or its editors.

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