If you are looking for a meaningful exercise to do with your team to learn more about each other and about themselves, I have a simple yet powerful one you might want to try out.
If you are anything like me, you are always looking for some ideas to raise self-awareness, show vulnerability and to build trust with team members.
Over the years, this exercise has proven to be one of my favorites. I have found that it is a great way to start to close the gap on how team members see themselves and how their teammates see them. It’s simple, insightful and has the potential to make a powerful impact for team members. The steps are quite easy, but if you take time with it and set the stage for some question asking, it can be a game changer.
Another reason I love this exercise is because I’ve facilitated it with teams that are just getting to know each other, and with teams that have known each other for years. I recommend making sure you schedule plenty of time for teams that have worked with each other for years because this can drum up some meaningful conversations. Feel free to do this with any number of team members at a time within reason, the more team members the more time you will want to plan.
(Disclaimer: Facilitating this exercise takes patience and the ability to create a space where people feel safe and open to share. I’d also consider what level of trust does your team has. With any team building exercise, please consider where you are in building trust and what level of vulnerability you would like to encourage.)
- Team members are in a circle with a large piece of paper in front of them. Ask them to write their name on the paper. Make sure each team member has a separate-colored marker.
- Ask each team member to write down all the words they have ever used to describe themselves and or the words they have heard used to describe them.
- Give them freedom to choose whatever words they would like to. Adjectives, nouns, whatever descriptors come to mind. It can be as simple as mom, sister, grandfather, nurse or team member. More complex words like bossy, shy, annoying, obnoxious, or perfectionist may also surface. I recommend putting a time limit on this, which isn’t too long (three or four minutes), and asking them to write as many words as possible.
- After each team member has their words written down, ask team members in silence to go from table to table to read their teammates’ words.
- Bring their individual-colored marker as they read the words and underline the word or words they want to know more about. The words that spark curiosity and a drive a need to hear the rest of the story.
- After each team member has had enough time to soak up all the words, everyone goes back to their spot. They then have time to review the words their teammates are more curious about.
- Each person then has time to share the words their teammates were most curious about and share why that word landed on their paper. If they think that about themselves or if others have described them this way. They have time and space to share how they feel about the word. They could share whatever they would like.
- Encourage others to ask more questions and give feedback. (This is where the “aha!” moments might happen.) For example, someone might share the word “mean,” and teammates might be shocked by that because no one views that person as “mean.” In fact, the team may actually view the person as very kind but direct.
- After everyone has a chance to elaborate on their words, I would encourage even more time for reflection and questions.
Play with the exercise. There are all sorts of ideas you can add, change or make your own. The reason it’s so powerful is it helps teammates share how they feel about themselves and creates the space for others to share how they view them. Closing that gap is a bigger leadership development journey but this exercise starts a conversation.
If it’s a team just getting to know each other, it’s a great way to encourage them to get to know each other in an environment that has some parameters and encourages vulnerability. Either scenario is useful.
While this is an exercise I particularly enjoy because the conversations can be so very significant, my reminder for this month is to intentionally work on helping your teammates learn more about themselves and each other.
We spend so much time completing tasks in our field that we don’t always focus on personal development as much as we would like. This exercise is a great reminder that it doesn’t have to be fancy. Paper, markers, time and space could be an amazing way to continue to build trust and really see each other, which in turn makes the work flow that much better.
Let me know how it goes!
Julie Thorson was the 2018 recipient of the LeadingAge Dr. Herbert Shore Outstanding Mentor of the Year award. She currently facilitates LeadingAge Iowa’s Leadership Academy. She is a LeadingAge Academy fellow and former coach. The Head Coach (president and CEO) of Friendship Haven, a life plan community in Fort Dodge, IA, Thorson is a coach’s daughter at heart. A former part-time nursing home social worker, she is a licensed nursing home administrator and an alumna of LeadingAge’s Leadership Educator Program.
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