The sky is blue. Water is wet. Long-term care staff love coffee. I hold these truths to be self-evident.
So good news! New studies proclaim that the consumption of coffee significantly lowers dementia risk — and that more seems to be better. And I can’t think of a long-term care professional I’ve ever known who wouldn’t fall into the “more” category.
Researchers found that folks who drank two or more cups per day were associated with a 28% drop, and those who drank even larger quantities saw a 38% drop.
Tea intake also showed benefit, but this fact seems far less relevant, since I don’t see a lot of tea drinkers in long-term care hallways, offices and break rooms. Maybe they exist, maybe I’m looking in the wrong places, but I doubt it.
Which raises the question, why do facility staff seem to so greatly prefer coffee over tea? I have a Biblically-based theory, and it involves the story of Gideon, an ancient military leader who devised an ingenious test to choose the right warriors for his army.
When they got thirsty, he herded the candidates down to the river and ordered them to march through it. Some, probably the tea lovers, dropped to their knees to drink deeply and slowly before continuing, while others, the coffee people, scooped up the water and lapped at it dog-like as they ran through it.
Gideon chose the second group, which proves he would have made a good long-term care leader. Because in a hectic environment like a facility, staff don’t have much time for a leisurely pause to steep and sip a cup of tea. The urgent demands of this profession require constant motion, so they gulp their coffee while moving at warp speed through the tasks of the day.
That’s my hypothesis, anyway. And now that I’ve offended all the clandestine tea drinkers of long-term care, let me be clear. I accept and support your right to enjoy it. But if you’re working in a facility, I strongly suggest you choose coffee. Especially if Gideon is your administrator.
Things I Think is written by Gary Tetz, a two-time national Silver Medalist and three-time regional Gold and Silver Medal winner in the Association of Business Press Editors (ASBPE) awards program, as well as an Award of Excellence honoree in the APEX Awards. He’s been amusing, inspiring, informing and sometimes befuddling long-term care readers since the end of a previous century. He is a writer and video producer for Consonus Healthcare in Portland, OR.
The opinions expressed in McKnight’s Long-Term Care News guest submissions are the author’s and are not necessarily those of McKnight’s Long-Term Care News or its editors.
Have a column idea? See our submission guidelines here.
